¤ø All Things Considered ø¤

32. A certain musically-deaf bleacher feels like he's got a friend and is useful for something

31. Room for Squares would be a bar for nerds in Idaho

30. The Bucket list would have been a short film as they didn't know how to say what they mean to say

29. Trick Daddy would never have developed his secret love for country music

28. Melvin would not have become the first sub-6 feet man to look cool in a late night NYC video

27. My Stupid Mouth would be a newspaper by-line for politicians; the forum's yearly interview would be with the latest US Governor to get outed for lying about an affair.

26. Girls forced to dance with their father at high school wouldn't have a non-awkward song like Daughters to dance to (credit to Lorian)

25. AKOG would stand for American King of Gas and be a monster truck derby

24. Rob Drydek's mother would still be mad at him

23. Men would continue to describe women as "afternoon delight" rather than paraphrasing your body is a wonderland.

22. US troops would lose a key supporter and wouldn't have a great time in San Diego to look forward to.

21. Twitter would be less active and whole lot of people would not be able to smile, think of your comic posts or think "John Mayer" retweeted me on their bad days.

20. Josh Groban would be forced to cut his hair to deal with the unrestrained female attention caused by your absence

19. Bridgeport, Conn would not be where the blues was born

18. Jay-Z would not have been able to kill auto-tune without your guitar.

17. Far too many people would have missed out on the talents of DaLa, DRH and Pino Pallidino

16. Harry Levin's disciples would still be stalking Lindsay Lohan 24/7

15. Birmingham would not have a world famous B-ham choir

14. Pedamundo would not be a global day of celebratory drunken excitement and/or fornication the world over.

13. Lunchboxes all over the world now have a voice

12. ZZ top would never have seen Marty McFly's guitar solo burst into life and shock the audience

11. "Something's Missing" would be another name for viagra or a self-help course run by a 7-foot man with jarring teeth

10. Millions of people worldwide would scratch their heads for words and not have your songs telling them exactly how they feel

9. Tony, Alessandro and Bob would have died from overeating-based indigestion as they lacked the perfect fourth amigo to share their BBQs.

8. Chad would dream all day of the perfect artist to engineer sounds for and stare into a beautiful watch that never was.

7. SRV's coolness would not be broadcast as often as it is by a certain tattoo

6. Steve Jordan's mastery would not have been captured on Blu-Ray Disc or on youtube; there would be no born without bones!

5. Christmas would be duller with no JM shows and no interfaith cake baking shared across the world

4. Carl and Ben Mayer would probably have ended up operating a junk shop in downtown Los Angeles, selling fart noise toys and James Brond t-shirts.

3. There would never have been #Mayercasts- late radio shows combining great tunes and your humour.

2. Inside Wants Out, Room for Squares, Any Given Thursday, Heavier Things, Try, Continuum, The Village Sessions, Where the light is and Battle Studies (and so many collaborations) would not have hit the hearts and souls of millions of people.

1. Because for all the joys you give to your fans, you remain humble with your amazing guitar and song writing skills and are still so devoted to them.

Happy 32nd Birthday John!
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